Looking Down the Lens of Utter Chaos

When the world is spinning, stay still. There is refuge in the here and now.

I received this guidance today and it couldn’t have come a better time, as the chaos around us seems to magnify daily.

In the middle of the night, I learned that President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19, after ongoing contact with an aid who knew she was infected, and continued to travel with the presidential entourage on Airforce One to a campaign rally.

And then, there is the insanity, including shouting and spitting, Trump displayed in this week’s presidential debate. The thought that Trump has become a walking time-bomb, mentally and now physically, seems to me the last straw, the last nail.

Our collective back is being broken and our coffin finally sealed. I know such metaphors are overused and a bit beyond the pale, but the significance of this moment cannot be overstated.

Fear and uncertainty has been notched up yet another rung on what over the last six months has seemed a never ending ascent.

So with this ever-rising sense of hopelessness, where can we find faith? How do live in peace in such uncertain and chaotic times? How do we keep anxiety at bay? Should we be worrying about what the future will bring? What can we do to in the face of our powerlessness watching the insanity unfold?

These are the thoughts of an anxious and overactive mind. So today, I find solace in the advice: When the world is spinning, stay still! And I find hope in the idea that there is refuge in the here and now.

Actually, these are concepts I have tried to practice since the early days of the pandemic. Like many people, I have used this time for self reflection and learning. I have done a number of meditation challenges and online summits on collective trauma, mindfulness, and ancient traditions. During the lockdown, I have had and continue to have a daily meditation and journaling practice.

From there, I am finding ways to connect that internal work to support my creativity and knowledge as a writer and poet. I have taken a slew of online courses on creativity and the practice of writing, blogging, and poetry as a service and a business.

Determining what I want to accomplish as a writer not to mention all of the external information and influences that come into my inbox, I can become completely overwhelmed and even paralyzed.

And so, I need to constantly remind myself to return to my body, take in where I am sitting now, and rest in my breathe.

For me, taking a breathe and silencing my overactive mind is a moment-by-moment practice that is easier some days then others. But, in that way, I can also silence the internal critic, and simply do the next thing, letting go of the future and all of the possible outcomes. As a writer, that means sitting in the seat and trusting in the creative process.

Where I find hope and serenity in the midst of insanity is by remembering that when world is spinning, to stay still and in that way, I can find refuge in the here and now.